I love my husband

Warning for anyone who might be triggered – there is going to be some discussion in this post about weight, and it’s going to be pretty detailed and not necessarily positive. Do not continue if this could be a problem for you.

I have been having more than a ‘fat day’ – basically every day since exams has been a ‘fat day’, so that makes it more of a ‘fat month’. There are heaps of reasons for that, and they’re all my own fault. I started out at 66.5kg at the start of the exam period, but when I weighed myself on Wednesday I’d gone up to 70kg. I’m not happy with that at all.
During exams, I prioritised study over exercising or eating well, so I put on a couple kg then. After exams, I started going back to the gym, but that’s also when all my favourite Christmas foods came out in the stores – pfeffernusse, corinthian wafers – and I started my practice run for my xmas baking, so I have 2 different cakes in my house currently. I’ve managed to offload half of each cake onto my Mum, but I’ve still got one whole cakes worth (the boiled fruit cake that is a family recipe, and a gingerbread cake that was a bit of a fail). And I’ve been eating them. The thing with the fruit cake is that it’s very energy dense, because of all the dried fruit.
I thought I was heading in the right direction, with the beach trip with Hubby’s family on the weekend just gone (I walked a HEAP and I ate really well). Then, on Monday, I stubbed my pinkie toe on the frame of my hammock. OW. I was thinking I’d broken it, but I’m not 100% sure because the swelling has gone down already. It still meant that I could hardly walk on it until yesterday, so I hadn’t been to the gym.
My excuse for yesterday is because I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. I think I’ve picked up the end-of-the-year lurgy, because I still feel pretty off today. But I’m going to go to the gym today anyway, and try to do at least a little bit of time with weights and on the elliptical (I’m figuring that will be less painful on my toe, because I’ve still got it strapped and it still sort of hurts).

So, onto the other part of this – despite the fact that I feel AWFUL (fat, blobby, bleh, etc) Hubby still just says “Nope. You’re sexy” and I’ll argue that every step of the way, but it does make me feel a bit better when he says it.

It’s nice to know that someone thinks I look good, even when I’m looking at myself in the mirror and all I can see is “blob”, and the numbers are telling me that I am once again “overweight”. When everything that isn’t a pair of yoga pants is too tight again.

But because I’m not happy with my weight right now, I’m going to keep working on it –  despite the fact that Hubby doesn’t really seem to mind either way.

I’ll keep working, because I’m doing this for me. Because we have a family history of weight-related illness on both sides (Mum’s and Dad’s side) and I want to avoid those.

Therefore, quite a few of my new years goals posts are possibly going to be fitness-related. I have a weight goal, and I’m going to get there! I may not lose much weight between now and Christmas (because both my family and my in-laws insist on over-feeding us, and I love my Christmas baking waaaaay too much), but I’m going to get myself in a habit of exercising, so that it’s one less thing I need to worry about in the new year.

~K

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