What’s the go?

Hey all,

So it’s been a while since I’ve been on here – I’ve been trying to get myself back together with somewhat limited success.

But I thought I’d give you an update about what has been happening while I’ve been gone, and why it may be a while before I’m properly back.

After a heap of heavy family and emotional stuff through the end of 2016 and the start of 2017, my mental health was sitting on a knife-edge when I initially dropped off the radar here. However, I didn’t really acknowledge how bad I had gotten at that point, so I kept going with 90% of my normal stuff (work, uni, life) because I was determined that I wasn’t going to let myself go back to where I was 5 years ago.

BAD MOVE! Determination alone is not enough to fix your mental and physical health.

I crashed, quite spectacularly. I was exhausted all the time, but couldn’t sleep because I was so WIRED from my anxiety. I was also physically unwell – I’d had a cold during January, and just never really kicked it. I tried to go to the gym, and all that did was push me further down – Hello CFS, I did not miss you in the slightest. Post-exertion malaise SUCKS BALLS.
I ended up dropping 3 of my 4 university subjects, dropping my work hours to 1 shift per week (and taking several weeks off as well, thank god I’m casual at work).

After 3 weeks of having daily (often multiple times daily) anxiety/panic attacks, I got myself in to a specialist doctor. After a barrage of testing, he diagnosed me with a couple of genetic conditions (Pyrrole disorder and MTHFR). I got one from each side of the family – talk about genetic lottery!
I’m now getting treatment for both conditions – I’m on a huge number of supplements (both conditions cause significant deficiencies in several important vitamins and minerals) and things are beginning to get better.
I’m back at the doctor in a couple of weeks to retest and see if my levels are getting back to what they should be, but I’m feeling better already. My anxiety has backed off significantly – it’s not gone, but I haven’t had an anxiety/panic attack in 2 months. I’m still tired, but nowhere near as bad as I was. I managed to go to the gym and it didn’t wipe me out.

I’m part-time at uni now, and will be graduating at the end of next year. I’ve increased my work hours back to 5 shifts per fortnight, and I’m beginning to get the housework stuff back under control.
We got a new cat in the midst of the crash, because having a furry friend really does help – if you follow me on Instagram, you would have seen pictures of her there.
I’m knitting/crocheting/crafting like a madwoman because it helps keep me level, and I’m trying to get back to cooking and eating healthy because my crash ended in me putting on 5kg :S

I may not be back to posting regularly for a little while longer, but I want to get back to blogging again. I’m not putting a timeframe on anything at the moment, just until things level out and are a little more predictable again.

~K

Getting fit!

Hey peeps!

I’m going to be taking part in the #FitRN2k16 challenge, which is a 30-day challenge organised by Ashley Adkins, RN (a nurse vlogger/youtuber). Here’s the video:

So keep an eye out on my Instagram and Twitter for my posts!

Basically, the idea is that every day for the month of April, you share a pic of something health or fitness related – be it food, exercise, positive thinking, whatever.

If you want to get involved as well, use the hashtag #FitRN2k16!

~K

Goals for 2016 – addendum

After some thought, I’ve decided that I need to add a couple of things to my original 2016 Goals list.

Both these items are going under the “Health & Beauty” section.

  1. I’m going to give the “capsule wardrobe” thing a go. I tend to wear the same stuff day-in, day-out anyway, so I figure I’ll just make this a conscious rather than unconscious decision. I’ve got a few items that I need to purchase still, and I’ll be doing that once I’m working, but otherwise I’m pretty much good to go.
  2. I’m going to have another go at the 5:2 diet. I tried it last year, and I sort of got a bit slack and just stopped doing it. This year, I’m going to re-read the book and borrow the recipe book(s) from the library and properly plan my fast days. Maybe it will work better for me this time.

Both these items were inspired by a slight freak-out I had on Saturday.
I was trying to get ready to go out to the city with Hubby and a couple of friends, and I originally thought I’d wear a dress. Which is when I realised that pretty much all my dresses (all but 2 being hand-me-downs) either didn’t fit properly or were in colours that don’t match most of my accessories. So I thought, since it’s a cooler day (for summer), I’ll wear jeans and a nice shirt. The first nice shirt I selected was another hand-me-down, but one I absolutely ADORE. It’s gotten these weird spots all down the bit where the buttons do up and around the collar. The option was a red blouse with short flippy sleeves – it looks awesome with jeans, and is SO my colour. BUT it’s a bit thin so you need to wear a white or skin-colour bra underneath… and my ONLY bra in that category that actually fits me is a sports bra and GUESS WHAT… The fabric around the edges of the bra cups has discoloured, so you could see it through the shirt. AAAARGH by this point I was having a horrible time and was sorely tempted to cancel dinner, because I just felt fat and awful. I ended up wearing a button-down shirt that was a little less dressy, but still nice. It worked, but the sleeves were a little tight when I first put it on (they always are, it’s cotton so it stretches a bit once it warms up) and that just made me feel 1000% worse about all of it.
At least my jeans fit!

So, after all that chaos I decided that I need to do something about my wardrobe. I clearly have a large number of items that I just don’t wear, for whatever reason. I need to cull them and replace them with things that I will wear. Enter the capsule wardrobe idea. This was closely followed by the thought that there’s not much point making a capsule wardrobe if I still feel fat and gross. The 5:2 diet seemed to work reasonably well while I was using it last year, so maybe it’s time to give it another go.

Sadly, the “buying new clothes” thing will have to wait until I’ve got a job and am earning my own money. In the meantime, I’m just going to get rid of the stuff that I don’t like wearing or can’t clean up and work out what I need to buy to fill out my clothing options.

~K

Goals for 2016

Here’s my goals for this year! I’ve used the same categories as I did for 2015, because they still fit the best with my life.
I’m posting my goals here, because having them where you guys can see them keeps me accountable.
I’m thinking that this year I’ll do a monthly progress post (or at least try to), with how well I’ve managed to keep up with doing these things.

Relationships – anything to do with how I relate to other people
Organisation & Management – things that relate to how I manage time, money, and life in general
Health & Beauty – mental and physical health, fitness level, things that I associate with making myself ‘pretty’
Creativity – things I enjoy and that give me a creative outlet
University/learning – anything connected with study

Relationships

  • write to my grandparents at least once every 3 months
  • date night with Hubby at least once every 2 months
  • catch up with friends once a month

Organisation & Management

  • plan my week every Sunday
  • stick to my morning and evening routines
  • maintain my weekly “cleaning day”
  • continue meal planning every week

Health & Beauty

  • clear out any clothes in my closet that I have not worn in the past year
  • only buy clothes that fit my style and I truly love
  • go to the gym at least 3 times a week
  • 2 strength training sessions a week
  • lose 1kg per month (total aim for the year – lose 10kg)
  • meditation for 10mins, 3 times per week
  • go to bed before midnight
  • get up before 7am every morning

Creativity

  • minimum 2 blog posts per week
  • 2hrs per week recreational reading
  • finish my fair isle jumper in time for winter (finish by May)
  • design a vest from the fair isle jumper pattern

University/learning

  • Get a job as an AIN
  • Maintain my 6.0 GPA
  • keep up to date with my lectures & readings each week
  • spend at least 3hrs on Japanese study each week

~K

2015 Wrap-up

Here’s the mandatory post about “how things went in 2015”. This is somewhat based off of my “Goal List” from the start of this year (find it in this post). Over the next few days, I’ll be working out my Goal List for 2016, and I should post that sometime during January.

University/study
I was remarkably successful in this category! I graduated from my Bachelor of Psychology (we won’t speak of my final marks for that, but I GRADUATED!) and now have a piece of paper and another line for my resume.
I’m one year through my Bachelor of Nursing, and my marks are SO much better! As of the end of this year, my GPA is 6.0 and this makes me eligible for the “High Achievers” events (e.g. a morning tea a few weeks ago, that may result in a nursing job!).
I managed to maintain my designated “study hours” fairly well, but there is definitely room for improvement (particularly in regards to getting assignments started earlier). I started all my assignments this year approx 1-2 weeks before they were due, but I’m going to aim for having them COMPLETED 1 week before their due next year. I only had to pull 1 all-nighter for an assignment, and OMG I felt like crap. I am too old to do that anymore.

Health/beauty
I did much better at (mostly) eating at “normal” meal times, and I consistently made packed lunches for uni. Hubby took over his own lunch making around June, and he’s also been good at that.
I’ve done much better at not worrying/stressing about things that aren’t under my control, and I’ve felt far more level emotionally (particularly in the last 6mths). I’ve also been asking for help when I needed it, not once it was too late and I’d already burnt out.
We’ve been eating far more food that I make from scratch, and this has reduced our food costs. We’re still spending an absolute FORTUNE every week on soft drink and energy drinks, but I can confidently say that I’m not the one drinking those. Hubby just isn’t ready to give them up, and I’m not going to push the point because we can (sort of) afford it.
I swapped out driving for walking and bike riding (or public transport) for about 90% of my transport needs, and this helped increase my fitness levels and reduce our fuel costs. It’s much easier at our new place than it was at our old house though – EVERYTHING is within walking distance, while at our old place nothing was (closest supermarket to our old place was 4km away. New place – there’s 3 within 800m). I only joined a gym in the final few months of 2015, but I’ve been going fairly regularly (barring a few disaster weeks).
I BECAME A MORNING PERSON!!!!! Well, sort of. I became a person who regularly gets up at 7am on days when I have nothing booked before lunchtime (or at all) and I feel pretty good about that. It took until the second half of the year to really get there, and the 6:30am starts for my nursing prac really helped cement the morning thing. I’m still not exactly cognitive before caffeine, and my brain doesn’t really wake up until at least 2hrs after I get up, but I’m no longer nocturnal so that’s a good thing.

Organisation/management
I successfully remained off of Facebook during semester time this year, and I will be repeating that next year. I also feel like I wasted less time on Tumblr and Twitter. I may have swapped this out a bit with this blog and YouTube though. I still feel I wasted less time online than previously though.
I culled my wardrobe, and now pretty much everything in there fits me and is in the styles I want to wear.
I *tried* to plan out my days… with mixed success. Some days, it went really well. Others were an absolute disaster. I let it slide a bit in the second half of the year, but I’m going to continue working on that next year as well.
Did better this year with keeping on top of the housework – I could definitely do better, but the only times I really didn’t keep the house reasonably tidy were exam weeks… and I figure that’s forgivable.

Creativity
I still don’t have my reading corner, but we’re looking at possibly replacing our couch this year, so I’ll hopefully be getting a big squishy one-person chair when we do that, so I can set up said reading corner.
I have successfully been trying at least 1 new recipe a month, sometimes almost 1 per week. Only 2 of them got rejected by Hubby, so that’s a good start!
I averaged 1 recreational book per month, but they were mostly crammed into my uni breaks… I would judge that a success 🙂
I’ve been spending more time knitting/crocheting, and I’ve almost finished a gorgeous jumper. It’s a little tight atm (mainly around the tummy area), but by the time the weather gets cold enough for me to wear it I aim to have lost a bit of weight so it will all be fine.

Relationships
I did a bit better at keeping in regular contact with my grandparents this year, but it’s never enough. I lost my Nan only a week ago, and the amount of contact I had was never enough. I wish I could have gone down to visit more often, but flights are expensive and we haven’t exactly had spare $$ this year. So many regrets, but it’s too late. Everyone give your grandparents a hug, because you’ve only got a finite time to do it.

Overall, a mostly good year. The past month has been hard, but up until that point things were going well. Normal life has still been good during the past month though, which has made it easier to deal with the bad stuff.

Happy New Year to you all (because I probably won’t be doing another post before then), and I’ll see you in 2016!

~K

Can’t sleep

Sooooo I have to be up in less than 7hrs so I can get to prac on time, but I’m lying in bed and I’m just not tired :S 

UGH I even sorted out all the washing before I came to bed to try and make myself tired! Not cool body, not cool.

I’m going to try some warm milk.

~K

Discoveries

I just found my list of “Goals for 2015”, and it’s interesting to see how many I’ve already been doing, even without actually looking at the list (heck, I forgot it even existed!). I originally posted these on the blog back in January as part of the “New Year New Life” series (Day 6 is where I have my goal list).

For each of the categories, here’s how I’ve done this year:

Relationships – have still been a bit slack with the “writing to grandparents” thing, but I’ve done better with the other two items (setting aside time for Hubby & not feeling guilty about saying “no”).

Organisation & Management – I’ve gotten MUCH better at keeping up-to-date with the housework, and I think that is partly because our house is half the size of our old one.
I’ve culled my wardrobe, and now it’s only got the style of things I wear and like (except for the dresses. I didn’t get rid of many of those because I only really wear dresses in summer. If I don’t wear them this summer I’ll get rid of them). I also bought a few new items that are in keeping with my style.
I haven’t done quite so well with the “fix it immediately or chuck it” thing – my mending pile is still a reasonable size, because there are a few items I can’t bring myself to get rid of. This sort of comes under the “stop holding onto things that are not useful/required” thing too.
I’ve been mostly planning out my days in the morning and following that plan – it doesn’t always go how I want it too, I’m still consistently putting too many things on my to-do list for a particular day.

Health & Beauty – I have been quite good at eating proper meals at proper times, as well as making packed lunches for uni. I started out making Hubby’s lunch for him the night before, but that fell off during exam time last semester and now he just makes his own. I’ve also managed to significantly reduce the amount of pre-packaged/pre-mixed foods we buy, and I have gotten to the point where 90% of our food is made from scratch. I still buy a few things that I can’t replicate at home (like a particular brand of chic-chip cookies that are SO ADDICTIVE and tinned fruits).
I’ve been driving far less since we moved to this new house. I’ll generally ride my bike to & from uni or get Hubby to drop me off and walk home, and I walk to the shops. Just recently, I’ve taken to driving to do the shopping, because I’ve discovered a really good & cheap fruit&veg shop in the big shopping centre that’s about 15mins drive away.
I’ve been very good at making sure I get at least 7hrs of sleep per night, but I haven’t really done much yoga this year. I’ve been doing more pretty stuff with my hair now it’s longer though – I can finally put it up in a proper ponytail, and even use one of those bun donut things! I’ve recently bought a whole heap of new earrings and pretty hair clips too, because for prac we’re supposed to have our hair all up and no dangly earrings (I bought a whole heap of pretty studs).

Creativity – I haven’t set up a reading corner, mainly because we don’t really have the furniture to do it and we can’t afford to buy it atm. I’ve been reading recreationally still though, and I’ve been trying new recipes regularly. I was doing fairly well with the “blogging regularly” thing until I got out of the habit over the June-July break. I’m going to try and do better from now on.

University – so far, I’m maintaining a GPA of 6.25 (WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!), I generally stick to my designated “study hours” (except for assignments), and I THINK I’ve been able to improve my study practices.
I’ve been wasting less time online, mainly because I’ve stayed off of Facebook. That thing is a complete blackhole! I don’t seem have replaced the time I would have spent on Facebook with other websites though, I still use them about the same amount that I did when I was using Facebook.
I still procrastinate, BADLY. Particularly procrasti-baking and procrasti-cleaning.

So, I think I’ve made reasonable progress. We’ll see how things go for the rest of the year!

~K

I have started running!

Well, attempting to anyway.

I did Parkrun yesterday (this is their website if you want to find one in your local area) and OUCH.

My legs are absolutely KILLING me  today. But I did the 5k run in 48 minutes! Most of that was walking, I think I ran for less than 1km out the whole thing, but I figure it’s a good start.

 

I’m aiming to do it in less than 30 minutes eventually, but I think it’s going to take a while to get there.

~K

Balance…

The past 48hrs have been an interesting mix of awesome and terrible.

The awesome stuff:

  • A good friend FINALLY got engaged and I was there
  • I got 2 new pairs of jeans and MY BUTT LOOKS AWESOME IN THEM. To boot, they’re a size 9!!!! (2 years ago I barely fit into a 12!) WOOT WOOT vanity sizing for the win BUT WHATEVER. Finally, jeans that fit my butt and waist at the same time.
    Usually jeans that fit my hips/butt are way too loose around my waist and either fall down or look terrible. I have now discovered the awesomeness that is “Curve Embracer” jeans from Jeans West 🙂

The terrible:

  • I reached my quota for “allowable last-minute schedule changes” in a spectacular fashion on Friday night. Pretty much EVERY plan I’ve made with anyone other than Hubby for the past 2 weeks has been changed at the last minute, and usually without me being informed except in passing. On Friday night, one phone call managed to single-handedly screw with ALL my plans for next week.
    I spent Friday night and most of Saturday in an absolute emotional mess because I just couldn’t deal. I plan in a certain amount of wiggle room for things like this, and if I can plan for things not going to plan I’m ok (e.g. at work – no worries, all good, because I control for the stuff I can)… but if they’re things that I don’t expect to get screwed around over (like meeting up with family), I have difficulty. If I get multiples within a short amount of time, I crash and burn.

Now I’m trying to catch up on my uni work and get myself back on a even keel for next week. I tensed up so much from yesterday that 3 long soaks in very warm baths have not made as much of an impact as I would like, and I’ve had a tension headache all day 😦

Hopefully I can stay on the level for a little while now though.

~K